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Captain Marvel
Billy Batson was no ordinary man. He was a kid. He was kid that could turn into a middle aged superhero anytime he wanted to. Unfortunately for Billy, he didn't have much imagination, and named himself Captain Marvel, even though he lived in the DC universe. Yeah, great job Billy! Way to through everybody off. I mean, come on! Are you joking? Were you thinking properly when you thought of your name. There were so many other names! Captain DC, Super Billy, Captain Billy, Wonder Billy, Captain Wonder, there were unlimited possibilities. /Sigh/. Alright lets get on with the story... Stupid writers need a Pencil to knock some sense into them. Biography Early Life Life was hard for early on for young Billy. He was born into a family of billionaires who got murdered in an alley way. Hmmm...I wonder where they got that from? /chough/ Batman /wheez/. He was then sent to live with his evil uncle who stole Billy's trust fund and changed his name to Bernie Madoff. Billy was forced to live in the streets. There he learned how to be use what he had to survive. Of course that wasn't enough. Noooo, they had to give him some damn super powers. He recieved the following powers from the Greek Gods/Wise Men. S'''- for the fists of Solomon '''H- for the brains of Hercules A'''- for the troubles of Atlas '''Z- for the pinky fingers of Zeus A'''- for the heel of Achilles '''M- for the left eye of Hermes All Billy had to do was say the word, SHAZAM, and he would become a middle aged superhero. Of course this gave him many problems. First, he would lose all his fights because he had the fists of an old man. Second, he would fail in school because Hercules was never that smart. He also started having back problems. He felt like the world was resting on his shoulders. His hands got really stressed out and his pinkies started swelling. He started to have a limp, his heel was killing him. Then he became cross eyed for some reason. So the writers quickly changed his powers to: S'''- for the wisdom of Solomon '''H- for the strength of Hercules A'''- for the stamina of Atlas '''Z- for the power of Zeus A'''- for the courage of Achilles '''M- for the speed of Mercury. He was now the perfect superhero. Or was he? Writer Alfred E. Neuman decided to give Marvel new superpowers. The Powers of SHAZOOM! S'trength '''H'ealth 'A'ptitude 'Z'eal 'O'x, power of 'O'x, power of another 'M'oney! Neuman renamed Captain Marvel, Captain Marbles although the story had a tragic end. Captain Marbles was hit by a train, but lived. He forgot his identity, though, so to revive him they had to make him remember Captain Marvel. /Sigh/ Such a sad story. The shit's bananas. That's: '''B A''' '''N A''' '''N A''' '''S Rivally with Superman Captain Marvel fought Superman many times even though they were both on the same side. Marvel was jealous of Superman's leading role in the JLA and the superhero soceity. Unfortunately for Captain Marvel it didn't seem right to have superhero named "Marvel" lead the DC superheroes. Transfer to the Marvel Universe and Fame Because he wasn't allowed to lead the DC superheroes, Captain Marvel left te DC universe (the left eye of Mercury let him travel between universes) for the Marvel universe, where, he hoped, he could lead his own band of super heroes, The Justice Ensamble of Awesomeness or The JEA. The JEA consisted of Astro-Boy, Captain Marvel, and 3-D Man. Captain Marvel sang, while Astro Boy and 3-D Man were on gutair and drums, respectivially. They were an instant hit. Money was pouring in from their hit singles, "Astro Dick", "Marvel Vs. Marvel", and "3-Dips in a Jar". Their was no where to go, but up, or so they thought. Captain Marvel got cocky and challenged The Avengers to a Battle of the Bands. Battle of the Bands The rules were simple; whichever band the crowd liked more won. The winner got to be the dominant superhero team in the Marvel Universe. Behind the Scenes *Captain Marvel was orginally suposed to be named Superduperman, but it seemed stupid to the writers. Yeah, because Captain Marvel is such a great name for a DC super hero. Do the writers have brains? *Captain Marvel's mortal enemies are lightning rods. *Marvel sued Captain Marvel twelve times in all, winning thirteen cases against him. Category:Heroes